I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
is this the sara with the beer cane?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
