i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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