wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
