Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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