oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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