i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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