google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
