So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
