Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
