Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
