yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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