clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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