I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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