epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
