if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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