At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
