No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
