there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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