I want to stick my p in your. b.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize