Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
