Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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