If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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