She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
