Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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