WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
