video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
