so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize