Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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