Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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