I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
