Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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