I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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