Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
How's work?
Spinning.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
