U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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