# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
