we made out on top of his cat.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
