it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
