Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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