Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
did i just pee glitter
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
