Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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