My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
