I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
