its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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