i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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