I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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