Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
