I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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