hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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