Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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