At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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