My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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