It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just want nice things and good sex
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
