I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
