I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
