I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
