How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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