I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
