the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she looked like the before picture.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
