I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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