I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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