is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
